Archive for Sex

I Still Got A Story To Tell

Posted in Funny Shit, ON BLAST!!!!!, Personal Shit, Random Shit, Socially Conscience Shit with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2010 by canitalkmyshit

The Saga Continues!!!!

Now, we all know about the whole “Jamaal brings home condom” story. Honestly, I have found the whole situation funny. This whole thing is something like a “Cosby Show” episode. Imagine Cliff Huxtable searching for something in Theo’s room, only to find questionable results. In that era it probably would have been drugs or alcohol. Regardless of the findings, Cliff Huxtable always found a way to make light of the situation, while informing you that it was wrong.

When I write these blogs, I(as with a good number of bloggers) draw inspiration from my life. Let’s be clear, I AM NO CLIFF HUXTABLE!!!!! People fail to realize that it is a scripted show. If a story doesn’t work, you can scrap it and create another storyline. In real life there is no luxury of re-scripting the story.

The problem with telling a story second hand is that it may or may not be the truth. There is no way to tell what happen when your not the one experiencing the situation. I have heard from a reliable source that the condoms have been brought, distributed, and used as balloons by the children at the school Jamaal attends. Honestly, there is no way to shield your child from the influence of their peers when they are not in your presence. The only thing a parent can do is teach them about the world, right, wrong, hope they take and utilize the teachings with them.

Now, a humorous story becomes serious. There are so many questions to ask school officials with no answers. How does a bunch of seven year old kids get access to condoms? Let alone, bring them to school to give out? Why does only a handful of teachers know about this? Are they trying to stop it and how? The only saving grace is that they believe the condoms to be balloons.

This story too is second hand information. This may or may not be true. I do not know which story is true, because I was not there. Jamaal could have possibly fabricated the original story, but then he might not have. Only Jamaal knows the truth about how he got the condoms. He’ll come clean, because at the end of the day he’s a good kid. What would Cliff Huxtable do in this situtation? Well, Theo always did the right thing by the end of the episode.

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Got A Story To Tell

Posted in Funny Shit, ON BLAST!!!!!, Personal Shit, Random Shit with tags , , , on May 18, 2010 by canitalkmyshit

What In The World??

So, I’m looking for my NBA 2K10 Playstation 3 disk that my daughter lost Sunday night. My search takes me into my Step-Son Jamaal’s room. His room is always a mess, so it is not exactly easy to find anything in there. While looking under his dresser I see a little black box. I continue looking for my game not really paying any mind to the box. I then start pulling out the junk under the dresser, glance over, only to see a box of Magnums on the floor.

My intial thought is,” Let me find out only is Jamaal beating on something, he’s holding!!!” Well that can not be the case, because he’s seven years old. A normal person probably would have blown a gasket, especially since I worked at night the previous day. The mind can start racing to many conclusions.

So, the first thing I do is I.M. my Cousin-In-Law Keith on AIM, because he watched Jordyn the day before. The Conversation went as follows:
*Prolific0n3 is my screen name*

So then I decide to call my wife to ask her about the mysterious box of Magnums. “Did you know there was a box of Magnums on Jamaal’s floor?”, I asked. “Yeah, I was wondering where those came from”, she responded. “I just thought that was from the batch we had used right after Cookie was born.” I interjected,”Tasha, that was almost four years ago.” “Just ask Jamaal, maybe he took them from his father’s house” , she says. We both agree and hang up.

Keith drops Jamaal off. He steps in laughing at the situation. Jamaal walks in the door as he always does. I then ask him while pointing to the box,”Jamaal did you bring condoms home?” He quickly responded with a nod. I then asked,”Where did you get them from?” “I got them from Pa Pa. He forgot he put them in my pocket. He bought them in the store then took some out and put the box in my pocket. He said they were for kissing girls”, he responded.

For those that do not know, “Pa Pa” is what Jamaal & Jordyn affectionately call Tasha’s father. My Father-In-Law is a decent guy, so I do not think he meant anything by leaving the condoms in Jamaal’s jacket. Why in the hell would you have condoms around a seven year old? Then again, he is known for doing funny things like this. We just kind of left it at that . I guess the situtation will come up again if Jamaal has questions.

How would you have handled it ??

Love, Sex & Marriage

Posted in Relationshit with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2010 by canitalkmyshit

To Make Love OR Not?

A few days ago, I had picked up the kids from my in-laws after work. I was sitting there talking to Mrs. Harris during a Oprah episode. Normally, I could careless about what Oprah has to say. Her four o’clock time slot just got in the way of my cartoons growing up. As an adult, I feel she gives advice on how to raise your children and marriage that is off base. That is like me telling a pilot how to fly a plane. You can not speak or give advice on subjects that you have no first hand knowledge of. I could go on for days on reasons I detest her.

Sorry for jumping off subject, but that gets me heated. So while talking to Mrs. Harris I started to pay attention to the subject matter. It was about the lack of physical intimacy between married couples. Maybe, subconsciously being a married man I took a particular interest in this. The thing about marriage is, anyone’s story can easily become yours. So I tend to pay attention to these kinds of things. I’ll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

This one couple, the wife did not like kissing or being touched by her husband. That is just creepy by itself. This other couple did not have sex for two years. Amazingly neither party had cheated. ” I do not know how that can happen”, I thought to myself. Seriously who can go that long without not wanting to be with their mate. It is beautiful that both parties remained faithful during that time. Their main issue was due to conflicting work schedules. Which amazingly is a major problem with a good deal of marriages. The relationship expert on Oprah stated, ” 15% of married couple’s have sexless marriages”

Now let’s analyze my own situation for a moment. I have been married for almost two years. My wife has a job that requires her to be on call literally 24/7. My job at times requires me to work the most random schedules. Sometimes I work early in the morning or night shift that could be interrupted by a late night delay. I did not even get on the subject of having to raise two children. That itself is another fulltime job. Now, having a household with two working adults that have schedules that do not match can lead to many nights where one will just feel like sleeping. So I could see how that could delay intimacy. Maybe things are easier for couples, where one party does not work. Things also could be easier for a working couple that is childless. You have to go through your daily grind, then come home to do homework, prepare dinner, baths, and getting ready for bed. With all that to do the last thing on your mind after your done, is sex.

I basically left the door wide open for skeptics to say, ” That’s why I’m never getting married”. The most important thing is marriage is not for everyone, I do not advocate it just because it was right for me. I have been in every level of relationship, I can honestly say, marriage is nothing but a relationship. A relationship with a lot more at stake, but a relationship none the less. No different from living with someone for twenty years only to break-up. In some states it is considered a common law marriage, and your mate is still entitled to whatever is yours. Any relationship, regardless of status is a work in progress. Both sides have to be willing to put in the work to make it a successful union. That requires taking time for one another. People change over the years, so sometimes you have to take the time to get to know the person next to you. I’ll take the time out to rub her feet if she has had a hard day. She’ll make sure to stay up a little later for me to get home so we can have some alone time together. We’ll go on our dates as if it were our first. That is dedication, everything else takes care of itself.