Archive for Inspiration

Realm Of Darkness

Posted in In My Mind, Inspirational Shit, Old Shit, Personal Shit with tags , , , on June 2, 2010 by canitalkmyshit

The Darkness!!!!

The silence of the night covers me…. Darkness has taken it’s toll… The black hole, that which is me absorbs everything around my atmosphere…. A void of nothingness that can not be filled… No matter how much is tried… Can not be filled… Something inside eats at me… Consumes my very being… Keeps me in the realm of darkness…. Keeps me from the light….. Everyday a part of me is taken away…. I lose more of myself…

Something keeps me going…. Something wakes me up everyday….. Tries to get through to me…. That’s why…. I force myself to see… Force myself to dream…. Force myself to believe…. Force myself to be… What I am… What I am… What I am………

*Written by me in 2001*

A Decade Of Da Rock!!!!!!

Posted in Personal Shit, Random Shit with tags , , , , , on December 15, 2009 by canitalkmyshit

Doing 10 in Far Rockaway!!!!!!

I moved to Far Rockaway from Hollis, Queens December 10, 1999. To say moving from my comfort zone at 17 years old, is an understatement. I was leaving my friends, my immediate family, basically everything that I had came to know up to that point in my life. My thought was, “I’ll move for now and since I’m a Senior in Highschool college would soon be here, then I’m out.” The joke was on me in the long run.

Far Rockaway, reminded me of an old southern town. Everything was so far in between. Shit, they don’t call it Far Rockaway for no reason. This shit is far. Even the look of it had an “Old South” appeal to it. I found any and every reason to reject my new surroundings. This was not Hollis. This place is in the middle of no where. This place will never be my home. So I made sure that after the school week was done, I made my way back to my old neighborhood. So it remained for my first few years out here.

One weekend I decided I do not even feel like going to Hollis. So I decide I’m going to stay “home”. I came to realize that it was not as bad as I thought. I noticed it was kind of nice walking around where you did not have to worry about having to stop and hold faux conversations, because you know everyone since birth. I could move around without people all in my business. Little by little it started to feel like home. Then, I met my future wife in Brooklyn, but she happened to live out in Far Rock.

Now looking back ten years later, my “home” became my home. I’ve grown up during these last years. I’m proud of who I have become and who I am going to be. I miss those old Hollis Avenue days, but I look forward to these new memories I’m creating here. I salute you Far Rockaway. My home sweet home!!!!!!!!

“I grew up in Hollis, Queens but I became a man in Far Rockaway”
-Phillip Wilds Jr. (Can I Talk My Shit)

Jordyn’s Day!!!!!!!

Posted in Inspirational Shit, Personal Shit, Sweet Shit with tags , , , , , on November 24, 2009 by canitalkmyshit

C Is For Cookie!!!!


November 24,2006
Envision me sitting there in scrubs as I await for her entry into the world. Honestly I was more releaved then anything. Once the doctors placed her in my arms, it was not until the moment she opened her eyes for the first time that it hit me, that she was my little girl. She did not cry or anything. All she did was look up at me as if she was stating her readiness for the world. Is the world ready for her yet?


That was the day Jordyn Mia-Erica Wilds joined the world. She is a force of nature all on her own. She treats everything as if she has been here and done this before. The warmth my heart feels when I watch her in action can not be measured. It’s almost like watching an artist create masterpiece after masterpiece. Her presence just leave you in awe, because she is so young.


The best part of my day is walking into the house after a long day at work, she runs to me with arms opened just wanting a hug. Even a simple “I love you daddy”, makes any day brighter.


She is the perfect combination. My sense of humor mixed with her mother’s take no shit personality. My love of technology mixed with her mother’s home skills. My sloppiness mixed with her mother’s organization. I think you guys are getting the point.


A general misconception is that she’s named after Michael Jordan or because I love Jordans. That’s not even close. Her name comes from the movie “The Best Man”. Nia Long’s character “Jordan” was a strong successful,opinionated, assertive, independent woman. How she went about her business struck a chord with Tasha. So she said,” If I have a daughter I’m going to name her that” I decided on the spelling. Funny thing is, that’s exactly how she acts.


Called by many names. Her Aunt Yvonne calls her “Boo Boo K K”. Her mother calls her “Jordy Wardy”. Her Aunt Shavonna calls her “Joy”(her first nickname) Shit, she calls herself iCookie. No matter what name she’s called, the fact remains that she is loved.


She the joy in our lives. She is the completion of a family. She is I. She is her mother. She is her brother. She is…….. I ask this question again… Is the world ready for her? I highly doubt it, but I’m having a blast finding out along the way.


HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY MY COOKIE MONSTER!!!!!!!! I love you with every fiber in my being….. Singing our song,”Daddy and Baby…. Baby and Daddy”

Jamaal’s Day!!!!!

Posted in Inspired Shit, Letter to ______, Personal Shit, Sweet Shit with tags , , , , , , on November 22, 2009 by canitalkmyshit

Your Day Jamaal


Dear Jamaal,
The first time I met you probably won’t even remember. You were one year old running around Delka’s BBQ. So small but so full of energy, that’s until you tired yourself out. Then you slept until it was time for you to leave. That same day is when I met your mother, who would go on to be my future wife. I actually saw you before I saw her. I didn’t know she was your mother, but I affirmed that day that she would become my wife.


We didn’t see each other again for another year at your third birthday party. That youthful exuberance still intact. You thought you were Kobe Bryant dunking on everything. Coincidentally that’s the day your mother and I decided to exchange numbers and we haven’t been apart since. One can almost say your the catalyst for the creation of our family.


You remind so much of myself when I was younger. Your smart and wise beyond your years. I could not have asked for a better son. A great big brother to your sister. Always a joy even though u have a smart ass mouth.


One of the proudest days of my life was when your mother and I went to Parent/Teacher meeting. Your teacher said about your mannerisms and how you spoke. They actually mirrored mine. Actually you had me to a Tee. Your Mother and I just looked like,”Wow he acts just like you” In that situation that was great to me. I finally felt as if I were having a profound impact.


Though we may not be bound by blood. We are bound by something stronger then science. The bond of Father and Son could never be broken once it is forged with love. There will be times that we will not get along. There will be times that you will even hate me. Always know I will never do anything that is not in your best interest.


I hope every wish you ever dreamed will come true on this special day.

Love You,
Phillip(Canitalkmyshit)

My Life, Your Entertainment

Posted in Inspirational Shit, Random Shit with tags , , , on November 6, 2009 by canitalkmyshit

The Spotlight Is Always On You!!!!

Life, no matter what phase of it your in can be a spectacle. There is always someone in the background watching your every move. Then you have those that are blatant with their inquistion of your daily activities. Some want to see you succeed. Most want to be around to watch you fail.

By nature human beings are curious creatures. This is one characteristic that can not be help. People must always be “in the know”. To be left in the dark when it comes to information is frowned upon. The chance to pass up the juiciest gossip is rarely passed up.

Conspiracy theories begin to get drawn up from the on lookers. Everyone has a say on the things you do. Opinions are armed and ready to be formed and/or distributed. Those things bring a whole other set of issues.

In business the “spotlight” is caused by rivals. Your rivals are always looking to replace you. Their goal is to find any kink in your proverbial armor. Most are just your rival in their own paranoid minds. At the end of the day it is about what you bring to the table.

In life the “spotlight” can be created by anyone in your life. It could be a total stranger that peeps your every move. It could even be the ones closest to you. These cases are the hardest to recognize. Just keep “the grass” cut for the snakes to show.

In relationships “the spotlight” can cause serious danger. The on lookers are there most times to inject venom into your personal situation. The toxins can become viral to your relationship. It should not be a you and me against the world situation, but everything that is in the dark comes to the light anyway. A good number of relationships fail due to outside entities.

At the end of the day, it goes back to trusting your instincts. For the “spotlight entities”, the world will kepp revolving whether you know someone else’s business. How can being in somebody else’s life make yours better? Worry about yourself……….