The Great Escape

“Sometimes I feel I’ve got to …Run away I’ve got to…Get away– Soft Cell : “Tainted Love”

I wonder if that is what ran through my father’s head as he left his family he started with my mother. I would be lying if I did not wonder his mindset as he prepared to exit our lives. To know me, we have to know some background information about me. Don’t worry this is not my autobiography, more like an excerpt.

I’m the oldest of 6 children between my parents. After me , I have 5 younger sisters. We all have felt the brunt of our father leaving in some way, shape or form. For me it is a little different, because I am his name sake. Everyday I carry a reminder of him, well unless i ever try to change me name. In order for me to learn the things essential to becoming a man, it was basically trial and error. My mother did the best job she could under the circumstances, but only a man can raise a man.

The plot thickens later. After leaving he develops a new family with his current wife. A perfect family with kids and all. Maybe, it was to make up for the family he left. We would have to ask him that one day, though i doubt we would get an answer.

“Throw it away… Forget yesterday… We’ll make the great escape..Won’t hear a word.. They say”-Boys Like Girl: “The Great Escape”

As a father, I do not understand not being there for a child you took part in creating. I do know there are situations that are beyond one’s control. I’m talking about the men that have the choice to be there. I could not imagine a day in my life where, I would not be in my children’s life. Too many times a mother is left play a dual role in the home. We are left with a generation of young men that utilize the absence of a father as the source of their issues. to a certain degree that does attribute to the problem, but can not solely be the blame.

“Where the hell is my father?? Shit hurts sometimes…There’s a hole in me.. And it rocks my mind”- R. Kelly: ” Issues(What I Feel)”

I can not stand by that cause i was able to triumph through adversity. I actually feel sorry for Sr. Wilds(myself being Jr.) He has to live with a life of regret. That is the a terrible way to live the rest of your days. He, like numerous men before him, have to live with what they have done. They have to constantly be reminded of the lives they could have destroyed. That is punishment enough.

“So I Pop I forgive you for all of the shit I lived through”- Jay-Z ” Moment of Clarity”

My goal as a man is to be the man that he could not be. This is not a declaration to prove I’m a better person then he is. That is far from the case, because we all have our shortcomings. I can not become who I my family needs me to be if I am anything like him. I am the man my mother raised.

Picture 127


3 Responses to “The Great Escape”

  1. I can definitely relate to this I never met my father and found out at 13 or maybe 14 that the man who I thought was my father wasn’t it is a hard thing to deal with to know that he can look at ya’ll and just bounce

  2. Oh wow that’s crazy. Things take on a whole new perspective as you get older. I never had any anger towards the man, more disappointment.

  3. Don Galasso Says:

    Wow. Great writing!!!

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