Another year has come and gone. The year 2011 had one common theme for me. Change!!!! I experienced professional change. I experienced relationship change. I experienced personal change. My life as with anyone else’s has gone through its own set of trials and tribulations. I fall down, just so I can get right back up.

No matter how old I get, there’s always more that I can learn. That’s how you grow as a person, realizing that you do not have all the answers. As long as your searching for them, you can measure your growth that way.

This year I end my 20′s to enter my 30′s. A new decade, a new me but with a twist of the old. We can call it Phil 3.0. Maybe, Phil: Act III. My evolution as a human being, a man, a father, and husband will be on display in all of its glory. I thank God for every blessing I have and have yet to receive. I hope if I have changed over the years, the ones I love understand the person I am today. They are the building blocks of who I am also.

With this new year my new theme I’ll carry will be…. Inspiration…… I hope everyone finds theirs

“Get a dream. Hold on to it and shoot for the sky”- Dusty Rhodes

So I buy decide to buy the latest edition of the famed NBA 2K series(NBA 2K12), less than a week ago. I was not really feeling the changes in the game, so I decide to take it back to GameStop for store credit. I get to the register, the clerk offers me $25.00 for a game that I purchased a week ago, that’s technically about a month old.

Here is where it gets interesting. I pay $60.00 for a game. I then go on to play it, decide I don’t like it, take it back and get credit for it. GameStop, who is the merchant I patronize then offers me $25.00 for the game. They will take that same game the gave me $25.00 for, turn around and sell the “Used Copy” for around $50.00 to the next unsuspecting sucker. Only for the cycle to run its course again.

“Power To The Gamers”

That “Power” that they lead us to believe we have when shopping there is an illusion. The “Power” really is in the hand of the industry. Imagine if a store actually credited you fairly, for a game that’s practically brand new. That would not happen, because the profit marine could not be maximized if say someone trades in a game that came out last week, they return get say $45-50 back and gets sold back for $50-55. The company turns a slight profit on the game, but that’s not beneficial to keep the cogs in the machine moving.

A main reason they offer such littler store credit even for discourage mass returns. Everyone would play a game for a few days and bring them back for almost all their money back. There really is not balance that can be struck with this. Game stop will continue to offer low return credits, unless it benefits them to raise it during say a popular release. We will continue use them to support our gaming addiction. Real power lies with whomever has the coin to make the rules. Fair? Maybe not, but then again maybe it is.

“Maybe next year,” they say to me.  That’s has been my motto for the last 20 plus years I have been a New York Knickerbocker fan.  It is a saying all of us Knick fans know too well.  Unless your were born in the early 70′s, the Knicks have not won in your lifetime.  When will the futility end?

Wow only three posts this year.  You know, people I did not even notice how little I posted this year.  Actually I have noticed I’ve neglected my blog.  I know, I know every time I don’t blog for a while, I always say I’ll do better.  I actually tend to get worse.  Sorry about that.  Most people won’t care, but there maybe that one person that actually looked forward to my blog posts.

As for right now, I’m just enjoying the summer with my family.  Work is always busy with random schedules.  Going to the Dominican Republic with the family in two weeks, so that should give me great material.   I could really use a vacation honestly, plus this is the first time the kids are leaving the country.  I can’t wait.

As always to whomever reads my thoughts, I appreciate the support.  For those that don’t, like seriously what the fuck is wrong with you. LOL!!!!!  I’ll keep you all posted on my adventures more often…. Oh blame twitter for my absence.  I tweet too much to jot down a single thought…. Follow me @italkmyshit (shameless plug)….. Be good people!!!!!!

I normally am not a person who forces my opinion onto another human being. I encourage free thinking. I may not agree with every thought, as long as it is your own then fine with me. I am also not big on politics either. My blog is not a forum to even speak on these kinds of things, but it is on my mind so I’m going to do what I do best: TALK MY SHIT!!!!

I come to find the world so preoccupied with the notion of secret societies and conspiracy theories that we are starting to lose touch with reality. Besides these are things I could careless about, but who am I to tell you what to believe. I have my own daily battles to fight without trying to interject myself into your though process.

Let me say this and this will be the only time I ever speak on my thoughts about The Illuminati. Could it be real? Maybe it is, but then again maybe it is not. For a “Secret Society” supposedly hiding in plain sight, we all sure know a ton of information about them. Supposedly, every successful person has links to The Illuminati or damn near everyone. Now say, I find a way to make a billion dollars tomorrow, I bet all that money that people I knew all my life would say, “That nigga Phil gotta be down with the Illuminati or sold his soul to the devil to a get that kind of bread!!!” You all can stop reading the rest of this post if you think I’m lying.

How else would they explain me putting in long hours,working my self to the bone, sacrificing time with my family all to improve my own situation? I would still be the same Phillip everyone knows, but I would have to have supernatural or secret help. That in itself is non sense, but since I’m not rich this conversation can take place at a later juncture.

Conspiracy theorist are another story all together. I’m not naïve enough to believe everything that I’m told. These kind of people challenge the everyday belief of what we believe the truth to be. Free thinking at its finest, I think. They live by the term, “Wake up people”, to explain that our lack of awareness that they seem to have. Shit some of my best friends believe the world to be “Sleeping”, caught in the matrix. I applaud them for not accepting what is fed to us on daily basis.

A theory in concept has not been proven, thus remains a question mark. The point of a conspiracy is to challenge the general perception of the truth in order to reject it. Now, in order to form an theory one has to obtain information to form it. How are you suppose to know the information you happen to find is indeed the real truth? One will stand by their truths to the death of them, which there’s nothing wrong with that honestly. Forcing your truth on someone makes you no better than the people you believe are lying to us.

It is not enough to challenge one side of a perceived truth, but everything about it should be questioned. To each’s own though. As stated earlier, I’m not here to force my own opinion on anyone. Just some random thoughts brought together. I have the honor of helping raise two wonderful children. I will teach them to think freely, so they can find their own truths and not accept someone else’s version of it.

By Phillip Wilds Jr.

The taste of you,

Still crosses my lips

The scent of you,

Embedded on my pillow

The touch of you,

Still caresses my soul

The thought of you,

engages my mind

The love for you,

Always in my heart

My phone rings off the hook, I rush to answer it.  ”You order Chinese Food?,” said the urgent voice on the other end.  ”I’m coming right down,” I replied.  So hungry I could not think straight.  The only thing I could imagine is the savory prize on the other side of the door. ” Once, I get down to the door it is going to be on,” I thought.

In my haste I decide to leave my shoes in my apartment thinking my socks would be enough to keep me warm.  Besides I was not going to be outside of the door anyways.  So decision made to go downstairs in my socks.  Hunger can make a man do stupid things.

I rush to my apartment door to run downstairs to go get my food.  Unbeknownst to me, my foot never touched the first step.  Before my first foot landed, I tried to take a second step not realizing I never placed one foot down.  Honestly, all I could think about is the food.  This lead me to fly straight in the air.  I could only see the glare of the light on the ceiling as I looked up.

The trip in the air felt like an eternity.  Almost like a caged bird set free, spreading its wings for the first time.  I soared beyond all heights.  Like Icarus flying up towards the sun, only to have the clay binding his wings melt.  Sending him crashing down to earth.  The landing on my side was comparable to that.  To make matters worse, once my limp slides down the step not to mention my phone flew flying to the bottom of the staircase.

My new downstairs neighbor hears the commotion of me flying down the stairs and quickly rushes out of her apartment to see what happened.  As I hear the door start to open, I quickly jump to my feet.  Already embarrassed, I did not want to be seen in a vegetated state.  ”Are you alright, because I heard someone fall,” she said.  I quickly responded,  ” I”m alright I just dropped something on my steps. Clumsy me.”  So looking around she surveys the scene but had no proof of a fall she looks on the ground and sees my Blackberry on the floor and goes ,” Is that your phone on the ground?”  ”Yeah, that’s part of what I dropped,” I responded even faster.  Satisfied with my answers she decides to reenter her apartment.

With the little strength I had left, I pay for my Chinese food ran back upstairs to make sure I did not break a bone.  I fall out on the couch in pain.  ”Fuck that, I put my body on the line for this food. I’m going to enjoy this,” I thought.  You know what? It was worth every bit of agony I had put myself through.  Fuck a moral to the story!!!!!!!!!!!

This is one of those songs that are hot, but never seem to catch fire outside of those who like it. Released in 1997(I think), this song captured my imagination. A profession of what could be if you captured the object of your affections. A remix with Jadakiss was released a little bit later but pales in comparison to the original. Hope you guy enjoy…….

If I Had You

I have had some bad days, but this one goes on my Top 10 list easily. The whole time I think, “Staying home would have been safer.”. My day started to improve as the work day finished. I feel a calm come over me at the thought of going home. There truly is no place like home. “The Day” just could not leave me alone.

My journey home started like any other trip home. The normal Airtrain to Howard Beach, then the A train. I get to Howard Beach right as The A train comes. This is great because it is about a 10 minute trip. “I’ll be home in no time,” I thought as I boarded. I sit back waiting the train to push off, but it is not moving.

“We are delayed, because the Broad Channel Bridge is open. We will be moving shortly,” the conductor announces over the P.A. system. Now, it is going to take a little longer then expected, but still I’m fine with that. I start playing with my phone as I wait. I decide I’ll start a new blog entry about my day. I do not get to it right , because I had some other rough drafts to go through. As I do this I’m unaware of how much time has gone by.

I stop what I’m doing to call my wife to see what she’s up to. As we are talking I say,” I’m at Howard Beach, the bridge is open so the train is still sitting here. As a matter of fact that was 45 minutes ago.”. I kind of shocked myself at the amount of time waiting at the station. We hang up, I wait another 30 minutes for the train to push off.

I get to the next station Broad Channel an announcement comes on, “Due to problem closing the bridge, Broad Channel will be the last stop. For passengers continuing to Far Rockaway, there is shuttle bus service outside the station.”. Everyone on the train get the same dejected look on their face that I have. I rush outside the train station knowing that a crowd would be forming for the shuttle. Funny thing happens, there is no shuttle bus. Now, you have hundreds of stranded, angry commuters with no way to get home.

The Broad Channel station is not too far from Cross Bay Blvd, there we could catch the bus. On Cross Bay there are two options to take. The Q53(Limited Stops) and the Q21(Local Stops) to reach Far Rockaway. The closest stop to the train station actually has both buses listed. Now my only problem is there is a mob of people all waiting for the same two buses. Bus after Bus pass the crowd, not wanting to stop. The size keeps increasing due to train after train becoming out of service. I get a bright idea.

“I should walk to the next bus stop before this one, instead of waiting with this crowd. I’ll have a better chance at getting a bus to stop,” I thought. A few other people had the same idea, but not as many as the group that was at the bus stop. So I proceed to the next bus stop which happens to be a Q21 stop. About 30 minutes later, two Q21′s bypass this stop that I’m at. Frustration starts to take over. “Fuck this I’ll just walk to another stop,” thinking now besieged with anger.

I start to walk, but there is no bus stop in sight. Did I fail to mention it started raining by this time, walking with suede loafers, and no umbrella. This walk took forever. Literally, I was walking for about 30 mins. The only good thing was no bus had passed during thins time. I finally complete my journey. I finally catch a Q53. I take it to the Q22 stop so I can finally get home.

I get to this next bust stop, only to see another crowd. A Q22 comes right away, but due to the size of the crowd everyone could not get on. I have to wait for the next one. I catch this one. I get home in about 5 mins. As I walk down the block all I can think is,” My Chinese food from last night better be I’m the refrigerator”

As, I approach the fridge an erie feeling overtakes me. “I know it’s not in there. This will top everything off. Greedy asses!!!!”. I grab the door handle and pull the door slowly. I close my eyes in order to brace myself for unwanted results. It’s open now and so are my eyes, my food is there. My glorious food is where I left it. The smallest things can mean so much.

As I eat my food, I sit back and reflect on the perils of my day. The Day won, but I got my food. That is all that mattered in the end. I thought it would be a good time to update my blog. Share with the world what happened to me. I begin to type.

There are somedays where nothing seems to have the desired result……….